I am a writer. This is something that I occasionally call myself. I call myself a writer because I write a great deal, and also it's because that's what I want to do with my life. It is a strange title and I'm not sure what it means. 'Writer' much like 'poet' or 'painter' is a rare title that is not connected to profession, but rather to practice. A doctor without a degree and a practice isn't a doctor, and an electrician isn't someone who fiddles with the wires in their home occasionally. But I feel it perfectly fair for a person to call themselves a writer, even if they're not widely published.

Identifying myself as such, it's caused me some problems in my job search. Not tangible ones, but I can feel it in my heart - what am I trying to do? Writing is not the sort of skill most employers look for, unless I'm applying for one of those rare technical writing or journalism jobs - but ironically, the vast majority of my job experience is in customer service. As for writing, I have no job experience. I've been published in the campus journals a few times and I also wrote for the paper at Butler University, but thats about it, and that's nothing compared to my customer service past - Pearson's Manager looks good because of the title and the list of responsibilities you might at some point potentially have, and then I've also worked in food service, and I was a summer conference worker, a job where I spent half my time trying to keep the conference guests happy (the other half consisted of doing semi-petty tasks for the Res Life pantheon).

So, I'm probably not going to be a writer, professionally. Entry level technical writing jobs are hard to come by. I could do some freelance on the side, but thats about it. As a result, I feel split - one half needs to advance professionally, but the other half needs to advance my writing skills. I'd love to start sending out manuscripts to places that would publish (most literary journals don't pay, however) and get my foot in the door. But I need more time, and I don't know if I'll have it.

Yet, I'm not exactly dreading a 'normal' job, a stupid full time position. In my writing I've found that a lack of perspective is maybe my biggest obstacle. I am not well traveled. My job experience is probably on the high side for college grads, but still, it's all been the same industry. I'd love to get a job doing public relations for some non-profit, but even if I'm selling security systems for Brinks (one of the jobs I applied for) thats fine too. I just want to get out.

I'll have to see where the pieces fall. Time is going to become my greatest enemy.